Kitayama might be taking a picture of this (mousapelli) wrote,
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this
mousapelli

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Timezones are the Devil

I tried to write this last night and had to give up in the middle because TIMEZONES.

I'm home safely from Phoenix, just so everybody knows. It probably concerned more of you how little I was on the internet, because that's happened basically never since I started having the good internet in college, but. What can I say, RL actually held more appeal, just this once ♥

I don't even know what to say about the whole week because FEELINGS. I wasn't anxious really at all until the last ten minutes before ributa showed up at the airport, at which point I melted down pretty much all at once, like heart pounding and my hands got all clammy, and then a nun came out and stood beside me, seriously a nun, and I was like "Really? Really?!"

But it was fine, i didn't have to be nervous at all. We fit together really well ♥ and we didn't hate each other's faces after two days and I wasn't that allergic to her cats and I didn't completely humiliate myself during our first kiss (not all of my imagined scenarios were 100% positive, okay, I'm realistic about my ability to generate failure). I feel stupid saying how amazing my week was when we didn't do anything more earth-shattering than watch dramas and make food together and say dumb things to each other, but it was really really good. Maybe even more so because it wasn't like when you're doing some vacation thing that's awesome but you know it's only awesome because you're only doing it for a little bit? It felt like a really sustainable good, like how could I ever get sick of doing it good.

Just let me be gross all over you, flist. because ALL THE FEELINGS.

So leaving was hard, and I tried not to look like the crazy girlfriend, I really did, but there was still some sobbing at the airport. And maybe when my plane landed. My dad, trying to be helpful, came into the airport to get me directly but really all I wanted was to have another 15 minutes alone in the bathroom so I could try and pull it together before we spent 2 hours in the car together.

So then I told my parents about the girlfriend, because I like all my emotional upheaval in as short a time frame as possible. They took it well, for some definition of well which is like 'better than they took it when i dated a girl in high school.' My dad's okay with it, we talked a little more about it today when we went out to lunch. I think my mom might be kind of upset, but she didn't yell or anything, she just got really quiet. I don't know if she'll want to talk about it at some point, but I'm okay to let it alone for a while. And relieved that it's over, mostly relieved. Thanksgiving is a long way away, I think it'll be okay.

Sleeping by myself again was weird last night, though. You'd think after doing it for pretty much my entire life it would take more than a week to reset my ability to do that, but I kept waking up thinking she was there and then being completely disoriented that it was my pillow. I'm sure some of it is timezone change, but I feel kind of unsettled too, not bad or sick exactly, but not good. 3B is coming home tomorrow so we can commiserate about long distance relationships. It worked out for him and Italian Girlfriend in the end. If he can manage it across the whole Atlantic, then I can manage too *determined* My girl is worth it.

Okay, I've had enough of trying to write this entry, haha. How are all of you? You didn't break the internet while I was gone, right?

Entry also posted at http://mousapelli.dreamwidth.org/853844.html if you'd rather comment there.
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