I hate flying. Let me tell you the reasons why, which have nothing to do with turbulence, air sickness, or a fear of flying, and have everything to do with the stupidity of security theater and price-gouging airlines.
1. Cost: Flying a certain "budget" airline (budget as these things are defined in the U.S.; Budget Airline (BA) is certainly nowhere near as cheap as European budget airlines) this morning, I checked in online. Except with online check in, it's not possible to indicate how many bags you're checking, so I had to stand in line at the airport anyway. (Strike 1) Some airlines have separate queues for people who need to check in and people who have already checked in online and just need to drop off their bags, but BA does not. (Strike 2) So I waited in the line outside for curbside check in, which is usually faster than the inside line. Except, lo! BA's curbside check in at Tiny Airport (TA) has a fee (a non-optional "gratuity"--I do not think that word means what you think it means.)! (Strike 3) This is, apparently, noted by a tiny sign at the very front of the line, which is impossible to see from the back of the line, where one gets into line. (Strike 4) Additionally, I flew out of TA for four years and used curbside check with Competitor Budget Airline (CBA) as recently as 2007, and their curbside check never charged a fee--at the same airport!
2. Security theater: the air puff machines that shoot air at you and analyze the air for traces of explosives don't work. The
Seattle Times explained why in 2007, and according to a brief May 2009 article in the
New York Times, the government has decided that "the machines did not operate as intended and cost too much to maintain."
3. Security theater: While passengers were waiting in line to board, after their bags had already been x-rayed at security, a TSA security guard went down the line and randomly searched bags. This searching involved the guard sticking her hand in my purse and stirring things around without actually checking any of the large or small pockets or looking below the first layer of items in my bag. The random searching consisted of the guard only looking through purses, without checking any large backpacks, briefcases, laptop bags, tote bags, or anything that would actually, y'know, take effort to search.
4. Incompetence: The flight before mine at my gate is running so late that when they began the boarding calls, I thought they were boarding my flight and so I got in line. After I handed in my boarding pass, the announcer said not to get on, because this was the wrong flight and they were running late. The problem is that the screen above the jetway, which displays the destination and flight number of the flight that is currently boarding, only displayed my flight. WTF.
5. Security theater: I almost always fly by myself. Ergo, if I want to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, or do anything, I have to pack everything up and drag it with me to the fountain or bathroom, never mind that the water fountain is 30 feet away and has a clear line of sight to my seat. Otherwise, the security guards will stand around my purse and tote bag and start yelling about how I should never, ever leave my things for even the briefest of intervals, or else they'll take them away and I'll never see them again, which happened to me in another airport. The requirement that you keep all your bags with you at all times makes solo air travel more difficult and more unpleasant if you're not an able-bodied, energetic person.
In summation, I'm so fed up with the idiocy and unnecessary difficulty of flying that I'm considering driving as much as I can from now on, and I
hate driving. In 2008, my resolution was to not drive at all, and I almost succeeded, too. Unfortunately, I have the return flight for this trip next week, and depending where I end up the next couple years, air travel might be necessary. There's a certain amount of professional travel that will require flying, too. I loathe having to pay to endure an inefficient, unpleasant, expensive experience just because there aren't any alternatives.
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