Rating/Warning: PG-13 for swearing. and Miroku.
Summary: Inuyasha doesn't appreciate being toyed with, even if he is right all the time.
AN: For mark356 as a thank you for pointing out some site glitches. I was watching the Souta romance episode, and then the Shippo one is right after it, and i thought that was a bit suspicious.
When Souta had asked for advice about being in love, Inuyasha hadn't thought much about it. The kid needed a sensible role model after all, in the face of all Kagome's ridiculous babbling about romance. A little application of masculine sense had straightened him right out.
When Shippo had asked him for advice not two days later, Inuyasha peered at him suspiciously before offering essentially the same wisdom. After Shippo scampered off, Inuyasha looked around and sniffed the air to make sure a certain human girl wasn't somehow behind this.
By the time Miroku asked him about Sango, one evening when they were sitting on Kaede's porch, waiting for the girls to get done at the spring, Inuyasha was sure he'd been set up.
"Listen here, Monk!" he snapped, leaping to his feet and leaning menacingly over Miroku. "Don't you have any self-respect?"
"I…" Miroku blinked.
"Doing some girl's dirty work!" Inuyasha snarled. "What did Kagome offer to put you up to this? Some alone time with Sango, is that it?"
"Inuyasha, I don't…"
"Well, forget it!" Inuyasha stomped past Miroku down the path towards the spring, yelling back over his shoulder, "and if you really want my advice, stop grabbing Sango's ass!"
"Well," Miroku sniffed, tucking his hands back into his sleeves, "what fun is that?"
Down at the hot springs, where Kagome and Sango were relaxing, it was momentarily peaceful.
"KAGOME!" Inuyasha's voice was accompanied by the crashing of brush. "You get your ass out here RIGHT NOW!"
"Inuyasha…" Kagome cracked open an eye, but didn't lift her head from the mossy rock it was resting against.
"I mean it! NOW!"
"Maybe you should…" Sango started, but Kagome cut her off with a wave of her hand.
"All right, all right," she grumbled, climbing reluctantly out of the water. She paused when she was crouched beside her clothes, the noise of Inuyasha's approach getting disturbingly close. "Inuyasha, don't you dare come in here!"
"Then get OUT HERE!"
"I'm coming, you big…aagh!" Kagome shrieked and clutched her shirt to her chest as the bush right next to her rustled threateningly. "SIT!"
There was a crash, and then a moment of silence before Kagome and Sango heard a muffled,
"You're going to pay for that, bitch."
By the time Inuyasha could crawl back to his feet, Kagome was already standing in front of him, hands on hips and glowering damply. The tiny part of Inuyasha that wasn't seething with anger at being toyed with and then eating dirt wanted to lick the stray water droplets on Kagome's neck.
Both parts agreed that growling was in order. Especially when Kagome had the nerve to demand to know just what he was doing.
"What am I doing?!" Inuyasha crossed his arms and glared back. "What are you doing, setting me up?"
"What are you talking about?" Kagome answered, narrowing her eyes.
"Don't play innocent with me!" Inuyasha's ears flickered with irritation, or perhaps because of the wet hair clinging to Kagome's pale skin. "First Souta, then Shippo, and now Miroku? I can't believe you would even sink that low!"
"You've got ten seconds to explain yourself," Kagome was grinding her teeth audibly, "before you get the 'sit' of your life, pal."
"If you think sending everybody to ask me about romance is going to make me confess some deep feelings," Inuyasha made a face as though even the word was distasteful, "you'd better just think again, Kagome!"
Kagome blinked. She opened her mouth, then shut it and blinked again.
That's right, Inuyasha thought smugly. That sure shut you up.
The smugness lasted right up until Kagome started to smile.
"Inuyasha," she said, in that low voice she probably thought was cute or sexy or something ridiculous like that, "I didn't tell anybody to talk to you. Sounds like somebody has a guilty conscience."
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes and peered down at Kagome, whose expression was part amused and part knowing, and all disturbing.
"Are you trying to say something?" he inquired.
"Nooo," Kagome smiled even wider and flipped Inuyasha that two-fingered symbol that meant 'look how cute I am' as near as he could figure. "Everything's fine."
"Keh. Keep it that way, then." With a final suspicious glance, Inuyasha turned on his heel and stalked back towards Kaede's. And he certainly didn't pay any attention to the pointless giggling going on behind him.