me: "I'm game. you go first."
Ellen: "I will wrap bacon around water chesnuts and bake it!"
me: "eh, that's not that impressive."
Ellen: "Then I will make eggrolls and deep fry them in three inches of oil!"
me: "Stand aside, watch and learn. I'll take the unused cheese-mashed-potato perogie filling from the fridge, squish it into cakes, and fry those suckers in the dregs of your oil."
Ellen: ".....you win."
but i'm having diet vanilla coke, so think of all the calories i'm saving!