You might want to check out this thread of sociofemme's before reading this drabble, but if you've ever watched any amount of late-night cartoon network, you'll certainly get the joke.
Wrong Em-PHA-sis on the Wrong Syl-LAY-ble
“Stay the night, Sirius!”
“No, if reason gave way to passion you might become pregnant and be forever burdened with my likeness!”
“Honestly, Peter,” James sighed. “Again?”
“I was just trying to change!” Peter wailed. “This damn charm is hard!”
“I think I’m a girl in real life…do you still want to?”
“Yes. You’ve touched my soul!”
“Finite Incantum!” James said to Remus and Sirius, tapping them with his wand. They stopped, mid-word and Sirius laughed nervously.
“Anime-gus again?” Remus asked, blushing.
“Yes,” James sounded disgusted. “It’s always you two! If I didn’t know better, I’d think you LIKED it!”
and this one's for anyone who's ever experimented with shaving odd bits of their body and later discovered the hidden down-side. And Draco hates EVERYTHING.
Smooth as Silk
Draco hated Blaise Zabini as he scratched his knee through his robes.
He had no idea how Blaise had talked him into shaving his legs. He thought Imperio might have been involved, Zabinis were known for their finesse with that Unforgivable.
Draco remembered him insisting it would feel good, really good, and it had for a few hours. What he had NOT mentioned was that his legs would itch like the dickens for the next week until the hair grew back.
I’m going to get him, Draco snarled silently. I’m replacing his shampoo with hair dye. MAGENTA hair dye. Poof.