October 15th, 2011

elvis is dead

Dear Universe: I give up, okay? You can stop trying so hard.

So my mother calls tonight, after i finally manage to get home and haven't even been there long enough to plug in my computer, and in my weakened and exhausted state, I get talked over into going over to my parents' neighbors' house to play Bunko (it's a dice game) because they are short a person. I show up, and my mother comments about my brother coming home, and I'm like, what's he home for? Since my parents are spending all tomorrow at a wedding for a person my dad used to work with.

mom: "oh, just a wedding."
me: "He's going with you? to the...wait you said A wedding."
mom: *makes some noises*
me: "you didn't say to THE wedding, you said to A wedding. He's going to a different one than you?"
mom: ".....yes...."
me: "Whose? Why are you being so weird?"
mom: "...............it's [your ex-boyfriend]'s wedding."
me: "i see. you weren't going to mention that at all, were you, nobody was even going to tell me."
mom: "i didn't want to! you kept asking!"

I guess it's worth mentioning at this point that in the whole world, there's only been one guy willing to date me, and only then because we'd both been broken up with by the same girl in high school, and he wasn't exactly emotional stable, like that time he spent a whole semester locked in his college dorm room and refused to come out. So eventually I broke it off because it wasn't exactly a good time and I figured, you know, I'm only 20, I can do better than this. only now it's 9 years later and I have dated exactly zero other people and as it turns out he is getting married tomorrow.

so apparently I could not in fact do better, and the most upsetting thing about it, I think, is that I'm even in a state right now where it is upsetting. motherfucker I am so sick of how as soon as I start to feel just a little bit less depressed, something else ridiculous goes down. I suck, okay? I get it. I really need the universe to just back off already and quit re-proving it, just for a couple weeks at least.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed
kouji rocks your hat

if nothing else i'll think the bells inside have finally found you someone else

Does anybody know where I can dig up audio rips of the Yellow Gold 3010 DVD? I own the damn DVD myself even, but I'm just too lazy to rip them myself, and the ones I found have weird audio skips in the middle of a bunch of the songs. I gave the usual comms a shot via tags and didn't turn up what I wanted, but then again, see above about being lazy. also i keep turning up these ones with the skips and there's no way to see whether I have different ones or not without dling and unzipping and listening to a whole bunch of it.

in other news, now I have to drag myself to the post office and some other errands, and it's all totally minor but even putting on pants felt like a struggle. feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

  • Current Mood
    sad struggle