January 19th, 2012

probes are bad

So Here's the Thing

about this time of year every year, I start getting the emails for the ABNA (Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award), which in case you don't know, is an annual contest they run for new or self-published authors. It has a bunch of rounds and the winners get contracts with Penguin (iirc).

The thing is that even the mention of ABNA, just seeing the letters on my screen, makes me feel a burst of hatred.

This is due to the fact that 2 years ago I submitted Chaotic Butterfly, just to do it, and made it into the 2nd round where you get two random reviewers for the first 5k or something, and received, hands down, the worst review I've ever had for anything. Now, it's not like I think i'm the great American novelist or some shit, and I understand fake Japanese boyband is a truly niche market, but this was downright mean. It actually contained the words "no redeeming value." It was bad enough that I even wrote an email to be like, what the fucking fuck is this person doing reviewing a budding novelist contest and ps YOU KNOW WE CAN SEE OUR REVIEWS, ASSHAT.

I feel like I should be able to shake it off, I'm a big girl and I've been writing a long time, but the truth is that I obviously still think about it now and then, and that's pretty much exactly the time that the amount of writing I do dropped off sharply. Last year I wrote less than 20 total fics, and this is definitely not 0% of the factors in that. So part of my irritation is aimed at myself for letting it get to me. But I still wish the ABNA was a person I could slap across the face every time their pitch is all "inspiring new authors! yay!"

So whatever, that's what I have to say about that. Fuck you, ABNA.

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