June 22nd, 2012

elvis is dead

i'm afraid my mother is legit going to force me to see a doctor pretty soon

I've been out of school a solid week, even counting trainings, and I still feel awful. I went back and read through my journal about this time last year to see if this was how I felt after school let out last year. Last year I seem mostly short-tempered and irritable; this year I just feel sad, and like no matter how much I sleep on the couch it'll never be enough. maybe it's just mistimed PMS, idk, since both exhaustion and an overwhelming sense of futility have become symptoms of that this year.

I don't even feel like the school year is over, really, which is a special sort of hell, like i'm still waiting for whatever disaster comes next and after that and after that. i don't have a room assignment for next year yet, and people might still be potentially furloughed until August, the whole thing is so awful I guess it's no wonder I'm depressed.

Also the guinea pigs are starting to give me the beady eye about my perpetual presence. I don't think they quite have the memory longevity to recall that this happens every summer, but their faces are just like "Ugh YOU" when I openly watch them from the couch. Guinea pigs need private timez, okay.

So maybe I should go eat some food or...something. *useless*
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