to preface, we bought my mom a small, fuzzy, brown guinea pig for her birthday and named it Dr. House. Now the guinea pig hates everybody BUT my mother, and bites us regularly if we aren't appeasing his carrot-gobbling whims.
Dad: "Ow! He's trying to bite me!"
Mom: "No, he isn't! He's a nice guinea pig."
Dad: "He is not, and he's trying to bite me!"
Mom: "Aw, he thinks you're food."
Dad: "HE'S COMING AT ME LIKE A FREAKING ALLIGATOR."
Mousapelli: *crying with laughter*