Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for ninjas being Ochimarued.
Summary: Inui gathers some interesting data.
AN: for ponderosa121, who wanted ninja Inui because of this cap.
Konoha no Inui Sadaharu
Inui was more than a little certain that he had taken the wrong bus. Or perhaps just taken the correct bus too far, at which point it definitely became the wrong bus. He had thought that he'd drifted off only for a few seconds, but then had woken up with his glasses jammed into his cheek up against the window and the bus driver telling him that this was the last stop.
Maybe, Inui thought as he rubbed the dent in his cheek and looked around, last night's batch of Hyper Activi-Tea was a bit past its expiration date.
Still though, the people wandering past him were talking about some sort of exams, and even if Inui wasn't sure exactly what subject 'chunin' was, all schools had exams, didn't they? And all schools had tennis teams.
Inui pulled out the emergency disguise headband he kept on him at all times, despite Renji's insistence that there was nowhere on the planet that it would help Inui blend in. Turns out Renji's initial premise was in fact false in the face of Inui's data, as usual.
It would be excellent data, Inui smiled to himself, and then he disappeared into the crowd.
This was definitely a tennis school, Inui thought gleefully to himself as he leaned a little closer to a pair of girls. The girls had helpfully explained that the exams were actually ranking matches, and were now discussing which participants had the cutest ass.
Inui scribbled notes as fast as his pen could ink itself.
"Here, you. Come here and help us."
Inui looked up from his clipboard, blinking. There were two men staring at Inui, one with a bandage over part of his face, and the other with his hands shoved impatiently in his pockets. They were dressed in dull gray jackets and pants.
Exactly the kind of jacket and pants that Inui had found in a closet a little while ago and was now wearing. Aha.
"What exactly can I help you with?" Inui asked, tucking his pen into his pocket and figuring that following around people who looked to be in charge couldn't possibly hurt, and also they might lead him to the tennis courts.
Instead they led him through the crowd of people, all chattering about these exams, and Inui jotted down all the names that caught his ear, figuring at least a few of them must be on the tennis team. There was Lee, a speed specialist, and a strategist named Shikamaru. He even heard whispers of a prodigy named Neji who could see right though his opponents.
Also some kid named Naruto who was causing quite a stir, despite being something of a loose canon or perhaps a horrible monster. Inui made a note that they should definitely match Echizen up against that one.
Distracted by potential lineups, Inui didn't notice exactly where they were going or when the crowd thinned out and disappeared entirely, or even when the person in front of him stopped.
"Excuse me," he said, peeling his face away from the man's back, and then he peered around his shoulder to see why they had stopped.
The man with the bandages was kneeling next to some poor fellow lying on the ground. Heatstroke no doubt, Inui pushed up his glasses, quite easy to succumb to on a sunny day like this if one was not well-read on the latest theories of hydration…
…or perhaps if one was dead. Inui swallowed hard as the man leaned to one side and revealed that the guy on the ground was very, very dead, and also missing his face.
"I've never seen that jutsu before," the man in front of Inui said. "Not from Konoha. What ninja village could train someone to do that?"
"Ninja?" Inui swallowed down another wave of nausea and calmed his nerves by writing down detailed notes like Konoha = ninjas. "So this is some sort of ninja technique, right?"
The other two murmured something about chakra and jutsu and went on examining the body for clues. Inui glanced left and right, then snuck off as fast as his borrowed and apparently ninja boots could take him.
If they ever actually had to play Konoha, Inui decided that he would send Momoshiro to gather the data.