Summary: Sanada and Nozawa need their Skating Badges; Gym Leader Kitayama stands in their way.
AN: I can't actually remember whose fault this is, but snowqueenofhoth was definitely involved, and then diamondsjack drew the most hilarious illustration ever, so you should definitely click through for that if nothing else.
The Gym on Route 7
“The Kiss My what gym?” Sanada wrinkled his nose as he stared up at the sign, but Nozawa shoved him inside without bothering to answer his questions.
“Hi there,” Nozawa told the first gym member they stumbled into. “We’re trying to get our Skating Badge so we can become pokemasters. Can you tell me where I can find the head of this gym?”
The gym member, who had the puffiest hair Sanada had ever seen, raised an eyebrow and looked them up and down for a moment. “You think you can take on Boss Kitayama?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Nozawa crossed his arms and stared right back. Sanada looked back and forth between Nozawa and the gym member nervously.
“I’m Fujigaya,” the gym member shrugged after a few more seconds. “Battle me and we’ll see what you’ve got. We’ll go 3-on-3, and if you can beat me, I’ll take you to Boss Kitayama.”
“Are you sure about this?” Sanada hissed to Nozawa as Nozawa started rifling through the pokeballs in his bag. “His hair is scary!”
“Of course I’m sure,” Nozawa rolled his eyes. “Fujigaya uses mostly fire-types, it’ll be no big deal. What,” he asked when Sanada just stared at him, “didn’t you do any research on this place? How on earth were you planning to beat anybody in here?”
“I usually just let them beat me a couple times,” Sanada scuffed his sneaker on the gym floor, “and then go out to the fields and level my pokemon up past theirs.”
“God, you’re an embarrassment to Professor Kitagawa. Give me your Poliwatanabe, I need another water-type.”
Other gym members drifted over to watch as Nozawa and Fujigaya got ready, Sanada glancing nervously at the sea of gold and fake fur he was surrounded by in between cheering for Nozawa.
“Ready, brat?” Fujigaya asked, and then when Nozawa nodded, tossed out a pokeball with a neat flick of his fingers. “Go, Watarmander!”
“Watta!” the orange lizard gave its battle cry as it hopped out of its ball, flame-tipped tail swishing.
“Aww, how cute,” Nozawa cooed, making Fujigaya’s expression darken. “Go, Iwamotodile!”
“I’ll show you cute,” Fujigaya snarled. “Watarmander, Firebeat attack, go!”
“Look out!” Sanada cried as the Watarmander started tossing its head, but Nozawa was unfazed.
“Iwamotodile, No More Wave!”
Iwamotodile braced itself and launched a flawless No More Wave attack, and with its water-type advantage over Watarmander’s fire-type attack, it really wasn’t much of a competition even after the Watarmander switched over to its ground-type Day Breaker attack.
“Watarmander, return!” Fujigaya called, but he looked no less confident. “Let’s see how you like this, then. Go, Tamacargo!”
“Wow,” Sanada whistled, “that fire slug has the best-looking bangs I’ve ever seen!”
“Would you please stop talking!” Nozawa snapped at him as he called back his Iwamotodile. “Onodeen, go!”
“Burn It Up, Tamacargo!” Fujigaya called without giving the Onodeen a chance to get its bearings. It barely hopped out of the way in time with a high-pitched, “Deen!”
“What kind of attack is ‘Vanilla?’” Sanada wanted to know, then yelped himself as a stray fireball nearly grazed his foot.
But still the result was much the same, and Fujigaya was scowling as he called back his Tamacargo.
“I didn’t want to do this,” Fujigaya grumbled, “but you’ve left me with no choice. Go, Miyakarp!”
There was a long moment of silence as everyone stared at the fish pokemon, broken only by the Miyakarp’s steady “Karp! Karp! Karp!”
“Well,” a gym member behind Sanada sighed, “At least it’s not as useless as the Bunichiduck.”
“Is it going to attack?” Sanada asked, tilting his head in confusion, while Onodeen tilted its head in the other direction.
“It’s attacking right now,” Nozawa said with a grin. “The only attack a Miyakarp can learn is Smile! Onodeen, finish it off! Tri Torn attack!”
“You’ll see, when my Miyakarp evolves into a Toshyrados,” Fujigaya said grudgingly after Nozawa was declared the winner of the match. “But I guess you’re pretty good. Kitayama is over there.”
“Over where?” Sanada turned to follow the direction that Fujigaya was pointing and only saw a battered couch. They heard a faint snore.
“He’s the one taking a nap,” Fujigaya shrugged, then sauntered off, still looking sulky. Sanada and Nozawa exchanged a look, then Nozawa shrugged, and they went over to wake the gym leader from his slumber.
“Ne, ne,” Sanada hissed to Nozawa as several gym members tried to rouse their boss without incurring his wrath. “Let me battle Gym Leader Kitayama!”
“What?” Nozawa dropped Poliwatanabe’s pokeball back into Sanada’s hand with a raised eyebrow. “Sana-chan, you’re my rival and all, but you kind of suck, you know?”
“But this is easy!” Sanada insisted. “They really like fire-types, right? I’ll be great, you’ll see! Besides, you always get to have all the fun, and I need to get badges too, right?”
“Okay,” Nozawa gave in with a sigh, “knock yourself out.”
Gym Leader Kitayama still looked a bit heavy-eyed when he approached to face off with Sanada, but his smirk was sharp and the way he handled his pokeballs was impressive to say the least.
“I play winner,” Nozawa commented mildly from the sidelines.
“You know how to team battle, right?” Kitayama asked Sanada, voice bored.
“Team battle?” Sanada blinked. Kitayama’s smirk increased.
“My pokemon battle in pairs,” Kitayama explained. “As their bond grows, so does their power!”
“No big deal!” Sanada announced. “That just means I can beat you twice as fast!” He frowned when Kitayama laughed out loud.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get it by the time we’ve finished with you,” Kitayama assured. “Nikachu and Sengar, go!”
Kitayama tossed two pokeballs with a flick of his wrist, and there were two bright flashes of light. The first, a Sengar, hopped out ready to battle with ghostly tendrils on its head sticking up in all directions. He was, unfortunately, facing Kitayama, but Kitayama just gave an indulgent ‘Tcht’ and pointed towards the battlefield.
“Sen!” the Sengar squeaked, then hopped 180° and snarled at Sanada instead. “Gar!”
The second flash of light revealed a bright yellow Nikachu, fur crackling with electricity and zig-zag tail held up proudly. Sanada swallowed hard as the Nikachu eyed him beadily.
“Ni,” the Nikachu said derisively, then plopped its butt down on the ground. The Sengar looked down at it, tilting its head in confusion and pointing at Sanada.
“Sen?” it asked. The Nikachu just sniffed.
“Nikachu,” Kitayama warned, then growled when Nikachu only gave him a cheeky ‘Chu!’ over its shoulder. “Get ready to battle!”
The Nikachu just raised a hind foot and scratched itself casually.
“See?” Sanada called over to Nozawa with a grin. “Easy! This’ll take like a minute and a half! Abekadabra and Butterfukka, go!”
But his grin turned into a frown when the only pokemon that popped out was the twin-tailed Shintauros, and Nikachu and Sengar collapsed on the ground in fits of giggles.
Nikachu drawn by diamondsjack ♥