Kitayama might be taking a picture of this (mousapelli) wrote,
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this

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24-Hour Commentary

Lots of commentaries going around, so I thought I'd do something like that for my 24-hour fics, since I was so rushed that some of them probably need the commentary. I won't do them all at once, because it'll probably blow your minds, but here's some commentaries on the first few (they're in the order I wrote them, not the order they were posted, which might be telling on its own):


The inspiration for this one struck while I was going out to scrape off my truck after a snowstorm. I was thinking about how it wasn't good for the leather cover to be in the ice, and then I had this idea that Sirius would want to bring the motorcycle in when it snowed, and Remus would NOT be pleased…

I've been thinking for a while about a Remus/Sirius wake-uppy morning fic, and although this one didn't have the snuggly details that usually I imagine, it was still sweet in its own way.

My Remus always loves the snow, I'm not sure why, but I can always see him sitting on the big window seats in the Gryffindor Tower, watching huge flakes fall against the glass at night. I like the playfulness of Remus in this one as well, and the comfortableness in his relationship with Sirius.

I wanted the difference in how Sirius and Remus view the motorbike to be very clear. The bike is an 'it' to Remus, and it doesn't belong inside, and it's interrupted his morning and caused Sirius to rush out into the snow and Remus is NOT A FAN. The bike is a 'she' to Sirius, not just a thing, he loves it, but he wants Remus to love it too because he's invested so much emotion into it.

My Sirius is fully aware that all he has to do to win the argument is to touch Remus. As seen in SYWTTYARB, my Remus is very self-controlled and reasonable, but absolutely defenseless against the physical desire Sirius coming anywhere near him invokes. One stroke or kiss or touch is all it takes, and Remus can't fight back. Sirius gives Remus the chance to see it his way, but then he's not above manipulation to get what he wants.

Avoidance Tactics

When I was reading OotP, I spent the whole book thinking how much like Sirius Harry was, but never once did I say 'hey, he's a lot like James!' I always thought Remus, who is a quieter observer than most and less prone to make comments based on first appearances, would see it the same way.

This is probably the truest thing I wrote during the 24 hours, probably why I did it so early. This is exactly what I think Remus is really like, tired and detached, and incapable of dealing with all the emotions other people in the house want from him.

I imagine Grimmauld Place as a place with a sentience of its own, like it might take some sort of delight in Remus' desire to be alone in his depression and move rooms and corridors around to accommodate it. If you've ever seen the movie 'Rose Red', that's the sort of place I think of, a place that's growing on its own all the time.

The 'Other Person…' thing was important to me, I wanted to make it as long and ridiculous as possible, to emphasize how people tiptoeing around a subject really just make the whole thing more obvious, and I doubt Remus would have much patience with it, although I think that's the sort of dry, dark humor he might subscribe to mentally.

I love the idea of Remus just snapping and losing control and screaming and hurting people, if you read "The Most Ridiculous First Name", you'll see a nod to that here in the comment about the years Remus was missing; this exists in that universe. I also really felt the futility in the freaking out, Remus knows that even if he did snap in front of everyone, they would simply carry on as if nothing had happened.

My Remus is more or less emotionless about Sirius' death; he's done it all before and he has nothing left, he didn't expect either of them to make it through a second war. The thing that unravels him really is Harry, because he can see Harry doing all the same stupid things Sirius did, doing it over and over again in an endless, pointless cycle. Remus wishes for Harry's sake that he could break him out of the cycle, but he can't, so the best he can do is to avoid the situation.

Woke Up In the Hospital a Week Later

I had a good time with this one, although it was the first Oliver I ever wrote. I thought I would have trouble with it, but as soon as I got the image of firstyear!Oliver staring up at the Quidditch players in awe, he told me his story pretty readily.

There's a little implication that Oliver is Muggle-born or raised Muggle, in that his fervor for Quidditch seems so new and bright, and also in that he isn't very sure what position he should be playing. I wanted him to be almost a Quidditch prodigy, not crazy like Harry, him being on the team Second Year is a fluke, but it's a dream come true for Oliver and he turns out to be really good after all.

Tracey's gender was deliberately left undefined, by the way. I'd be interested to know which of you thought male and which of you female.

Enter the nervous best friend, Percy. The most telling exchange is when Oliver says 'whish me luck' and Percy replies 'be careful.' While I don't usually subscribe to the 'missing Weasley' theory, that one or more children were killed during the first war between Percy and Charlie, I thought about it a little as I wrote a careful, cautious Percy, one who likes Quidditch but is worried by its violence, who will go see his best friend play but will want to cover his eyes the whole time. Oliver has no patience for Percy's reticence, even if it's well-founded.

I wanted the 'Catch the Snitch or Die Trying' to have roots deep in Oliver's Quidditch history, to have it be a Gryffindor tradition, something Oliver absorbs even though he isn't directly involved. There was Quidditch before Harry Potter, you know.

The Ravenclaw match was thoughtfully chosen, I wanted a match between tactics and the brute force of Gryffindor, I needed a team that drives right from the start hoping for the psychological advantage, because I only had two minutes to make something happen before Oliver gets knocked out.

I love his accidental Keeper discovery, the way it's all instinct to reach out and slap the Quaffle away regardless of all else. It's a pretty pants Beater who gets pounded unconscious by a Bludger.

I wanted the team all crowded around Percy when he woke up, I wanted Oliver to remember waking up to that when he does the same for Harry in PoA. Gryffindors are brash idiots, but they stick together goddamn it, and if Oliver took one for the team, then the least they can do is make sure he wakes up to cheers in honor of him.

Pomfrey shouting for quiet. Hee.

Poor Percy was right all along, but Oliver is too big-headed to see it, and this is the first big rift in their friendship, a rift that will only widen as Percy sinks deeper into his studies and Oliver is completely lost to Quidditch.

Oliver loses a best friend but gains a team, and he might look back later on, but he and Percy have different paths to walk before they'll see eye to eye again.

Morning Person

I'd never written James/Remus before either, but emboldened by the Oliver/Percy success, I decided to tackle this next. The inspiration for this is fairly obvious: this semester I have an 8 am class that I despise getting up for, but to make it bearable I've set up breakfast every morning with someone I'm interested in, so there's something to get out of bed for. I made the class Quidditch, pushed everything a bit earlier to make Remus more obviously interested.

Only someone as clueless as James could ignore the way Remus claims to like breakfast but then eats next to nothing (breakfast food, esp British breakfast food, is way too heavy for the faint of heart at 6:30 am). Unnecessary 6 am risings? It has to be love, let me tell you.

I liked the idea of James never really spending time alone with Remus before this, between classes and the other Marauders, in the same way I imagine Sirius doesn't spend much time alone with Peter. I wanted James to slowly discover things to love about Remus, the way he has to work for his grades, the bookishness, the random trivia, things that are easily overlooked in the antics of a larger group.

My James wanks a lot, and has no idea what's going on when Remus invades his fantasies. It's so outside his Quidditch Star Typical Gryffindor Male mentality that he doesn't even recognize it as lust as it's beating him about the head (heh heh). I doubt even James could have said out loud why he felt it was necessary to wake Remus up to tell him that he didn't have to wake up.

Remus has had enough, he goes for broke and makes his move on James, having probably realized by now that if he waits for James to figure things out he'll be freezing in hell before the lightbulb goes on.

James is STILL confused, hence the question about breakfast, and finally Remus lets James in on the secret that it was him and not sausages Remus was after all along.

More soon, unless you guys hate this, in which case you might say so...

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    Thanks for writing for me! I hope you got something you wanted to do! About Me I'm Mousi and I've been around since HP fandom in like 2003 (god…

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    Thanks for writing for me! I hope you got something you wanted to do! About Me I'm Mousi and I've been around since HP fandom in like 2003 (god…

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    Thanks for writing for me! I hope you got something you wanted to do! About Me I'm Mousi and I've been around since HP fandom in like 2003 (god…

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