The thing is that it's making the rounds at school, like among the adults, hitting enough people that i've been involved in multiple conversations about it. Aside from the minor discomfort it invokes because a majority of my friends are married and it inevitably ends up with me finding out details I could do without, the other issue is that most people at this point have me pegged more or less correctly.
they know I read all the time. They know I am into off-beat stuff/know way too much about the internet. some of them have been there long enough to recall me from high school and no doubt observed one/both of my not terribly subtle high school relationships. Some know I write, and a very select few know about the fanfiction, and I'm pretty sure have figured out the rating scale a lot of it exists on.
What I'm basically trying to say is that people either assume that I've read it, or tell me that I have to read it. I have exactly zero intention of reading it, because quality of the writing aside, I am for real not into BDSM, at all. Not even reading about it, not in fic or anything else, not even a little. I do read fic once in a while, for one reason or another, but all it ever does is solidify my understanding that it's just not for me.
Let me tell you, the only thing more awkward than telling a bunch of adult teacher friends that, no, you have not read their BDSM book, and mm, are definitely not going to, is being forced to admit that it's because you are sure internally based on life experience that BDSM is not your thing, even (or maybe especially) in textual form.
It's not ruining my life or job friendships or making me avoid the staff room or whatever, I'm just ready for everybody to be over this. And I'm afraid that my mother is going to ask me about it next because I'm sure it's going around her office too DDDDD: