but that's not the story I really wanted to tell; I want to tell you the story of how I'm going to be flying LIKE A BOSS to Japan this winter.
So last weekend I finally sat down and plugged into United's website my potential Japan trip over my winter break. Last time it was like $1500 and it goes up ~$100 every trip, so i'm braced for like $1600-1700.
$2500. WHY CAN'T I CAP NUMBERS. TWENTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS THE HELL.
So i spend bunch of hours Saturday, and then Sunday, googling and orbitzing and kayaking and moving dates around and generally driving myself crazy. None of the flights I usually take are showing up, everything has travel time of like 35 hours with 12 hour layovers, I might have to leave later into my break and take days off on the other side, and even best case scenario, tbh, for any plan where I'm not spending half the trip stuck at the Atlanta airport, is like $2000-2200. It was so bad that flying British Airways (layover: London) for $2100 was actually one of the better options. This is my fifth trip to Japan, it should not be this fucking hard.
On Sunday I was out with my parents and i mentioned I had tried to start planning but was at a complete loss for what to do, other than to throw ALL THE MONEY at the problem to make it go away. My mom says, one of her friends at work, we will call him FF for Frequent Flyer, is constantly taking crazy trips places for the miles, and she'll ask him if he has a website he uses or some tricks or whatever.
Monday my mom texts that FF has something good and I call her during lunch. Turns out FF spent all morning on it (LOL, doesn't he have some job to do at his job? XD ), and used his crazy platinum world adventurer status and/or decoder ring to buy outright the number of miles one would need for this trip and get the 150% bonus (like he really bought 90k miles, but got 120k), which is genius and brings it down to like $1800. i leave at 6am and come back at midnight and have school next day, but WHO CARES. I tell her to tell him yes and thank you and that I will buy anything he wants in Japan, and Mom's like, there's more.
This whole thing, minus the 1st flight from DC to Chicago, is business class, because the initial issue was really that a bunch of economy class was sold out on the dates I needed, but not business class. Because FF has a bunch of upgrades he earned and can use on whatever! do you know what this would be costing me if I bought this shit myself as a normal peon? $6500. NEED CAPSLOCK SIXTY-FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS o__O sobbing, bless you, FF.
And then mom adds, he's still negotiating with them so don't write a check yet. Over the next two days, every time I talk to her, the price drops another like $50 because FF found another thing or got them to take a tax off or seduced an oil baroness or idek. This man should quit whatever he's doing for the state and book people flights for a living because I would have paid him i don't even know what for the amount of money he saved me + the relief of not looking at internet flights anymore.
Final price: $1536.38. I get to use fancy lounges and not pay them for my bags and board in my own line and, oh yeah, recline my chair UNTIL IT IS A BED.
the only way this could be fancier would be if I really did pay Dutch Royal Airlines the $13,000 it always quotes me for their flight. Every time I lol at that because what could make that flight cost that much?! I always wonder if I get to have tea with the Queen of Holland on that thing or what.