which is why everytime we make a bet, i always say she has to write Nellsex. and then i usually toss sirius in, because ellen HATES sirius.
then it came to light that she was reading some of my smutplosion while trapped in close proximity to her family, with no means of escape.
so i wrote Nellsex. with Sirius. hahahahaha.
Sirius Black looked up dully, fully expecting to see a Dementor as usual, but blinked when he saw a young wizard dressed in guard robes.
“You’ve got a visitor, Black,” he grumbled.
Sirius’ voice had long ago settled into rusty disuse, so he settled for glaring with raised eyebrows.
“Don’t you glare at me,” the guard snarled. “I know you aren’t to have visitors, but she’s very pushy. You’ll see.”
Girl? Sirius wondered, and furthermore wondered why the guard’s last words sounded more like a threat than information. He found out a moment later when a slender college girl waltzed into his cell. She wasn’t physically imposing, but she had a look in her eye that said she could snap him like a twig. Sirius cleared his throat, preparing to attempt to call the guard back in.
“You’re Harry’s godfather?” she asked briskly. Sirius opened his mouth, but she pressed on. “They told me you don’t talk much, so you can just sit there and listen. I’ve taken custody of Harry…” Sirius tried to leap to his feet, but only made it up a few inches before toppling backwards into the wall. “…good to see you’re taking some interest, murdering bastard though you are.”
Sirius tried to protest, and managed to get off an indignant grumbling wheeze that time.
“Well, we’re putting a stop to all of that!” the girl announced. Sirius stared. “We’re going to straighten you out so you can be a proper father figure for Harry!” She paused, looking Sirius up and down critically. “You aren’t the best specimen, but you’re the best Harry’s got really, so you’ll have to do. We need to get you cleaned up if Harry’s going to visit you.”
Sirius squeaked, eyes wide. With a supreme effort, he managed to croak out a “how?”. The girl smiled, showing teeth.
“I have some information that the Minister of Magic is rather…protective of. When I mentioned how Harry needs parental figures in his life, naturally he was happy to comply. First thing’s first though.”
Before Sirius could recover from the information that he was going to see Harry—Harry!—the girl pounced on him and dragged his understandably grungy prison shirt over his head, then stopped short.
“Oh my,” she said, sounding rather faint, eyes roaming across Sirius’ chest and over the dozens of small tattoos scattered across his skin, some prior to Azkaban, most done himself to pass the time. The girl swallowed. “Oh my.” Then she shook herself and went out the door of the cell for a moment, said a word to the guard, and came back holding a steaming bucket and a scrub brush.
Sirius had had just about enough of this strange delusion. He’d had some doozies in the last few years, one about Dumbledore and Lemon Sherberts that still made his skin crawl, but this was the real winner, and Sirius wanted no more of it. He scooted back as the girl approached and struggled, but in the end he was too weak from doing nothing for years to fight off a fit young woman, although he did get out a few successful swears in the process. The girl ended the fight quite effectively by straddling him, holding him down with her body and one hand while scrubbing with the other. Sirius gave up after a few minutes and glared at her petulantly, making trouble by sloshing the water bucket whenever he could.
By the time she was done however, the sloshing water had soaked her university T-shirt through, and Azkaban was not a tropical place, plus there had been some quality friction between Sirius’ long-ignored cock and the girl-bits straddling him. The girl, who had not been oblivious to the exchange their pelvises, eyed him with an enigmatic expression.
“You know,” she said after a moment, leaning closer so that her breath was warming Sirius’ nose, “Harry isn’t the only one who could do with a bit of Daddy action.”
Even when Sirius had spoken on a regular basis, he didn’t think he’d have been able to come up with something to reply to that. Apparently it didn’t matter, however, since the girl was standing up, reaching over to slam the cell door shut and then efficiently stripping off her Muggle jeans.
Sirius was too shocked to even move when the girl reached down to tug his loose trousers out of the way, held his mostly-hard cock steady with one hand, and then sank right down on it. Sirius wasn’t too shocked to press up into her and utter a low moan.
‘Glad to see you’re taking an interest at last,” the girl smirked. Sirius cleared his throat deliberately and actually managed to get out several word in a row.
“S’first time any part’s been warm in years,” he said, voice rough, but at least recognizable as English. He might’ve pushed out a few more words, but then the girl started rocking back and forth, slowly at first, but gaining momentum, and Sirius let his head fall back against the stone behind him and closed his eyes, making a string of low, needy sounds.
“Mmm,” he heard the girl say. “I have a thing about tattoos, you know.” He felt a slender finger trace some of the self-inflicted lines on his chest. “Especially…prison tattoos…”
“Huh,” Sirius murmured, not really caring what she yammered on about so long as his bits were snugly inside her bits and being fucked properly for the first time in nearly a decade. He’d come so close to forgetting what an orgasm was like that his snuck up on him quite effectively, leaving him gasping and shivering against the cold stone behind him.
Evidently the girl had got what she wanted out of it, because she was slipping on her jeans by the time Sirius gathered his wits enough to open his eyes.
“Here,” she said, handing him a clean set of prison clothes, and Sirius stared at them for a second before remembering that clothes could occasionally be changed. “I’m Nell, by the way. Next I come, I’ll bring Harry, so try to be a bit more social.”
She bustled out of the cell with the same brisk energy she’d entered, leaving Sirius blinking stupidly in her wake.