Kitayama might be taking a picture of this (mousapelli) wrote,
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this

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When I came home from school today, the beagle was unconscious on the floor, so I had to make the really bad vet call. I managed to get him in the car myself, somehow, although there was a chancy moment when i tried to straighten up with the 50lbs of dead weight and my legs almost didn't do it and then i probably would have cracked my head open on the piano.

The vet's office said his lungs were full of fluid and he had a temperature of 104, and that he might have had a seizure. My parents texted to say that whatever choice I made was okay, but obviously there was only one real choice. The vet brought him in so I could sit with him (it turns out the vet has a room for exactly this purpose) and she put him to sleep. I'm glad it's over and he isn't suffering anymore, but it was a lot more upsetting than I had thought it would be. I don't know if that's because it was the dog (as opposed to, say, guinea pigs) or because I was the one who had to decide or because I was right there while they did it. I don't feel guilty or anything, just awful.

I talked to my parents on the phone briefly. I'm sure they feel worse because they couldn't even be here with the dog. As strange as it is for me to be in the house without the dog, they won't even be home for another week to start to deal with that.

I'm staying at my parents for at least another day or two because all my junk is here and I can't move the guinea pigs back on my own, not that I'm in any state to try either thing. I'll head back over the weekend, I guess. I really want to take school off tomorrow, and technically I could, but it's the first week and that's just a terrible idea. It's probably better than I'm busy anyway.

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