Kitayama might be taking a picture of this (mousapelli) wrote,
Kitayama might be taking a picture of this
mousapelli

  • Mood:

Objection

I keep wanting to make a post about something, about anything, but every time I try I just give up after a few minutes. I don't want to make a post about stupid things when serious things are happening, but i don't want to make a serious post either.

so I just keep staring at this box.

Girlfriend move in is in 11 days ♥ I'm so excited just to see her again and to know it's going to last longer than 2-3 days.

But it's all kind of mixed in with a lot of anxiety, and it's impossible not to think about it or talk about it, and of course people keep asking me about it even if I could stop thinking about it, so it feels like i'm having that panicked five minutes right before we met the first time only it's lasted two weeks. Eventually it'll either run its course or else she'll just get here, but as exhausted as I am right now if it goes on that much longer I feel like I'll die. It's better when I'm at work and busy, at least.

I keep trying to focus myself on being excited and wanting her here. Like I feel all a mess right now but it'll pass. Since I'm usually pretty relaxed, though, I don't do anxiety that well, and knowing that it's completely reasonable that I'm worried right now doesn't make it feel any more pleasant. Plus you can pretty much read all my emotions right on my face, so now people keep asking me over and over again how I feel and what the problem is.

You know what the problem is? It's me, okay, I'm the problem. So I guess I'm just going to sit here and watch Law and Order until I either feel better or run out of seasons. There's 20+ seasons of L&O, so I think it's possible that might even work.

Entry also posted at http://mousapelli.dreamwidth.org/863840.html if you'd rather comment there.
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