I am home safely, clearly, and there was a lot less airport disaster on the way back than on the way to my event, which just figures. I submitted all my reimbursement paperwork and with that all done, I am officially on summer break! Well, kind of. I go to Florida for my summer class in only about 2 weeks and then there's maybe 10 days between FL and Japan, so. This summer is kind of a thing. Oh and I had mentor training yesterday, which is probably going to be totally necessary since I keep getting text messages from people who are quitting my building.
This morning I had follow-up lady doctor visit , who put her foot down and said I had to go on some kind of birth control because I've had like 1 period in 190 days and stuff is going to just keep building up in there until I get uterine cancer and die. I said that since something is clearly wrong just masking the symptoms did not seem good, but that was the only token protest I had the energy for. I couldn't even work up any indignation over how bringing up cancer was obviously meant to scare me. I'm tired of arguing about it.
I just don't want to. I know it's stupid. but I'm intensely resentful that I have to do this when I feel like there is .001% chance of me ever having sex with another person ever again. Deep in my soul I think really that's what it's about, like on a visceral level my body has given up too and decided there's no point in pretending ovulation is something I might ever need to do. I haven't even had PMS symptoms, which I always used to when I skipped a period, so I know all my hormones have been flat.
And I know this is also terrible but lately one of the dr's office's routine questions is whether you've been depressed and I always say no because the first time I was honest and said yes and then we had to talk about that for like ten minutes. I'd just as soon not, since it doesn't make me feel better to talk about it.
tldr I have to go pick up pills tomorrow and i guess figure out when a good time to start them would be.
I finished reading Scorpio Races, which I thought was okay, but I was annoyed by the abrupt ending and some of the stuff in the resolution too, and it didn't move me nearly so much as the Raven Boys books. I haven't decided which other YA thing to start out of the stack. I was thinking about Shiver, which I've owned forever, but I think I should read something else in between since my feelings were so mixed at the end of Scorpio.
also I have to finish my cousin's dumb wedding blanket like immediately. And probably do some reading for my summer class.
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