chinchilla dictator

rodent vs footwear

the chinchilla doesn't like it when i wear socks.

every winter we go through this, where it finally gets cold enough that I have to be wearing socks during chinchilla time, and the chinchilla takes this as her personal invitation to ATTACK MY FEET WITH IMPUNITY. The first winter I thought, "maybe she's never seen a sock on a foot before and thinks it's eating me and i need to be freed" but

A) the chinchilla is not anywhere near that altruistic, and if by now our relationship is good enough that I think she might save me from something if it were easy and not at all scary, it surely wasn't that good two years ago.

B) she's way smarter than that. she knows that's my foot in there, I know she does, she's just being a jerk. she's so smart she's pretending to be dumb so when i yell at her she can be like "whaaaat? i don't know any better! I'm a silly rodent!" Just like she fakes not understanding what i'm saying when I tell her not to chew the door/baseboards for the 1000th time.


Watched the men's short and free programs for the NHK Trophy (I had to switch my VPN to canada so i could stream it, but I managed), and I enjoyed all of that. I'm looking forward to the finals in a couple weeks. Yuzuru is an amazing little darling, but the best part is him breaking 300 total points, turning to his coach, and saying "I still want a few more." His coach was like "I KNOW YOU WANT A FEW MORE, SHUT UP."

After the babka, I made Mac and Cheese with cornbread crumbs for thanksgiving and holy shit it was amazing. I recommend doing that.

NaNo is only at 11k because I am the worst, but it's okay, I'll keep working on it. Cubeverse is fun. Yasui just tasered Genki in the bit i just wrote. Being a ghost hunter is a hard life.

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Hikaru says no

times are shitty but i'm pretty sure they can't get worse

Santa Fe isn't even close to my favorite RENT song, but I've had it stuck in my head for a couple days. it seems appropriate.

I thought about making a post a couple times after the election last week, but always feel like what I have to say isn't helpful or constructive or even nice. basically I'm just intensely tired of thinking "come on guys, we can do better than this" and then, nope, no rational sense at all. Just insanity. I feel kind of hopeless, not about my self/life personally, but just this keeps being a problem and we never fix it, we just let it be the same problem over and over and everybody gets all mad but then we just circle right back around again and surprise, it's the same problem.

okay, maybe a tiny bit of the hopelessness is about myself, because when I gave up around 2am that night, I went to bed thinking that I should feel more anxious personally but since I'm basically never dating anyone, does it even matter I'm not straight? But whatever, it's also almost thanksgiving week which is one of the 2 weeks in the year that I feel the most awful during, and since I can't seem to make that stop either, the best thing to do seems to be to just try and be sad quietly without dragging anybody else down. Like in Inside Out when Joy draws the circle around Sadness and tells her just to stay inside it and not touch anything. That's me. She even looks like me.

Ever since I moved to this apartment Miyata the confused christmas cactus always blooms like crazy at Thanksgiving instead, and I've started to wonder if he is trying to make me feel better. If Gaya the birthday orchid does the same thing around my birthday I'll know they planned it.

I took my dad to see Sungha Jung, the acoustic guitarist, last weekend, and he was really amazing in person. That kid is so talented and he was super nice when I got to talk to him for a minute while he signed my poster. Live he's unbelievable, he doesn't even seem real. The other guy was Trace Bundy, who I hadn't heard of before, but he did some really cool stuff with echo and loop pedals and his acoustic guitar, and I wholeheartedly recommend him. My favorite, hands down, was Overtime where he uses an echo and then by the end is kind of playing in between the notes of the echo and no video can do it justice of how cool it was live, but I'm linking it anyway.

I started writing Gravity Verse for NaNo but it's going super slow and I'm only at 7k. I feel pretty okay with that, though. Eh. We're doing a shiritori reshuffle soon and at some point I have to start JE United, but the window on that is hella long, man. I need more frequent shorter exchanges.

Yuri on Ice is....something, isn't it. I really like it, I do, but it's punching my teacher/student squick right in the balls. Coach/older student is still too close. It's great it's not getting censored or labeled funny and the writing and character development is so good, but every time it flashes to Yurio having a tantrum watching Yuri and Victor on TV, I'm basically right there with him.

I guess that's it. Let's get this snow on already, I'm ready.

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jinguji genki

Fic, Prince, Cold Hands, Warm Heart, Part 1

Title: Cold Hands, Warm Heart [Jinguji/Genki]
Rating/Warnings: R for scariness, see below.
Summary: The third floor bathroom is supposed to be haunted, but all Jinguji finds in there is Genki.
AN: Halloween horror fic! Based intensely loosely on the Greek story of Philinnion, plus a handful of other Japanese school urban legends about bathrooms and Genki's true facts bullying problem. It turned out a bit...weird this year.

REAL WARNING: Think Asian horror ghost movie like Ring or Shutter or White. Scary stuff happens to people you enjoy! Character death possible! I don’t want to spoil all the spoils, given the nature of it, but ghosts are involved and they are pissed.

It’s not gory or anything, though, not like crazy serial murder fic or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s plotty. So…good luck?

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tamamiya hands

Kis-My-Ft2, Birthdays and Other Important Updates

Title: Birthdays and Other Important Updates [Miyata/Tamamori]
Rating/Warnings: R
Summary: Miyata's birthday Jweb is designed to make Tamamori beat him up.
AN: On his birthday, Miyata complained on Jweb that everybody sent him happy birthday messages except Tamamori, but then said, and I quote, "oh well, we share the same dressing room every day. Wait! We also live under the same roof" and pretty much my whole tlist was like WHAT AHAHAHAHA. So apparently, true facts, they are at least living in the same apartment building, but in my opinion that's questionable too, pfft. Anyway somehow this took me a month because I kept falling asleep on my face while writing it.

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flying rat

Datte is the last snowpig standing

Sanapig died over the weekend. I'm glad it's over because he was just a shell of himself for weeks at the end and I hated seeing him like that, but he was definitely my favorite Snowpig since Shelbi posted about them being born and I'm pretty sad about it.

 photo BiggerMini-Guineas001.jpg

When they were babies, Sanapig and Nokkun were inseparable and even as adults, if I got one out, the other would pace the cage making anxious noises. I never got a picture of it, but often I would look over and see Nokkun casually nibbling Sanapig's ear over the food bowl, so I hope wherever guinea pigs go, they're back together now. I bet his sisters are there too, since I can't imagine all of these pigs lived as stupidly long as Sanapig and Datte have.

the Lucifer single dropped the week they were born, and during the 17 hour drive home from Kansas with 3 terrified baby guinea pigs, I played that song over and over for them because it made them purr. As adults, they would still sit and listen to music or concerts, but would get more excited and purr for SHINee. It's impossible to guess how many Shounen Clubs Sanapig has watched with me, or how many episodes of One Piece.

I've taken so many pictures of Sanapig in the 6.5 years he's been here that it's hard to decide what to even post here but, here.

no title

He's been here so long I don't even know what to say about him. We always called him the most oshare one because of his calico and super long whiskers. He used to nap on top of the ledge in the same position as I was sprawled on the couch and would watch terrible TV with me, especially Hoarders and Storage Wars and Law & Order. He liked to eat bites off my banana because he didn't want me putting pieces on his cage floor (it would get dirty). He was huge, like a small rabbit. At the vet they had to weigh him on the dog scale. When I had to get his steroids from the real pharmacy a hilarious string of mishaps happened where I had to explain no, Sara is not short for Sanapig and no, I am not his spouse.

Sanapig was my sadness buddy. When Nokkun died from a tumor about 3 years ago, I thought for sure Sanapig would just follow him right after, but nope, he just kept on going even though he and Datte fought too much to live together. He really liked Christina, and when she moved out he moped on the couch with me for weeks. I swear to you this is not projection, he would just lie on his side and look up at me sadly. Even the chinchilla took it better than him.

Since Friday I've tried to talk to him, give him something, or gone to pet him at least 25 times. The new babies are fun and silly, and Datte is still going strong, but none of them are Sanapig.

I miss you, buddy.

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pig beta

guinea pig cage of doom

my apartment reached a state yesterday where today i called my mother this morning and begged her to come over and help because I just couldn't do it. it wasn't even a matter of physically doing it, like psychologically I had gone past the point of no return.

actually let me back up. about 2 weeks ago I ended up with a pair of baby guinea pigs.

Cute, aw. Taiga has the stripe on his nose and Jesse is the other one. They're doing really well in terms of friendliness given that they've only been here two weeks. but they came in a cage that was intensely too small for them as babies, much less adults. so I broke down and bought the components for a C&C (coroplast) cage with a 2nd level, and then i decided to try and merge them with Datte, whose cage has always been too small. This meant for a week I had four cages - the huge new one, the two smaller ones they were still basically living in, and Sanapig's cage. Plus the new cage was jammed in a corner with my DVD bookcase, and I had to take the chair out of that corner so it was just in the middle of the floor.

Plus the boxes the new stuff came in. Plus the two bags of hay and the 3 (yes 3) bags of various types of bedding I was trying to merge, all of them huge. Plus the two bags of fleece I bought on sale yesterday and the 30lbs of birdseed and about four guinea pig blankets either on the kitchen floor or bathroom floor or taking up half my couch. Everything had to be somewhere other than where it was, but I couldn't move anything because everywhere there were things. My bedroom was covered in folded laundry. the living room had a definite path.

so it's awesome that Datte and the new boys somehow learned to get along in the big cage in about two days when I thought it would take forever/not even be possible. and it's even more awesome that in that whole week nobody peed on the fleece part of their cage even once without me having to 'train' them at all. But man, this week was hard, and i didn't get nearly enough sleep and school is like uugh and no lie, I was about a day away from actually being the kind of hoarder they do TV shows about. Mom and I spent from 1-7 moving things and cleaning cages and vacuuming and taking loads of stuff to the trash/recycling.

I got no school work done, either job school or grad school, and after I took mom home I cried for no reason, but it's over. now there's only one spot that looks stupidly hoarded because that's where all the fleece is still sitting. Taiga is over there popcorning like a nut, though, so at least somebody appreciates it.

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pearl it's over

I almost drank a juice

This school year feels different. Or more like, I feel different. It's been a good start mostly for me personally, reasonably calm, but like last year, it's exhausting. Every year they add more stuff, and they never take any stuff away, and I redo the same stuff over and over and over because honestly I'm not even sure why. But that's not what I mean. This year I really felt suddenly like I was in the middle third of my career, like I really knew what I was doing and I felt comfortable with what each of my 4 levels should be doing when, and I've made a few new activities but it wasn't because I HAD to, it was because I knew I could run an efficient enough to get an extra thing in that class and I wanted to, because I thought I could make it better. And those things did work, and they were better. It took ten fucking years (it's supposed to take 3-5 of teaching the same class but when you have 4 levels AHAHAHA). I can't really put into words what exactly feels different because I don't really feel better or happier or less stressed out, but different.

and yesterday I had a day where just, it was too busy and stuff kept going wrong and happening unexpectedly, and in the middle i found myself sort of laughing about it, because what can you do, whatever, and I was thinking about how if I had had that day my 2nd year of teaching, or maybe even my 5th, I would have cried. Definitely. Probably in the hallway. So at first I was like, maybe this is what being an adult is actually like, it just all washes over you, but then I thought, maybe I've just reached a point where I've exhausted all my emotions about all of this stuff because it certainly won't get easier or probably any better, so all that's left is to chuckle ruefully no matter what happens.

Sanapig is still alive, somehow. I feel really bad for him, but there's nothing to do but pet him and give him all the lettuce he wants.

Steven Universe back on hiatus I guess, which sucks. All this week i've been trying to make a post about how the Mystery Girl made me feel, but it's complicated. On the one hand I could see how it should be one of my five favorite episodes, if not actually my favorite episode. On the other hand the reason I like Pearl so much is because I empathize with her unfixable loneliness, and giving her a possible remedy to that set at odds my desire for that to actually be the case (SU would do it so RIGHT) against being sad that I am somehow now getting left behind by even fictional characters.

and then I feel bad that that's even a thing I think about, but i've come basically to terms with the fact that having no real person to put emotional investment into, I just channel it all into Japanese guys and apparently now animated gem ladies. Also I thought Onion Friend was dumb but I always feel like that about onion episodes.

Speaking of living vicariously through fandom, today on Jweb Miyata was complaining Tama hadn't sent him a birthday text but then added, "Well, we do share a dressing room, and also live under the same roof" which is pretty glorious. At what point can we decide this is a real thing? Is it now? Their phone game CM is adorable.

I have an intense love for In the Storm, SixTONES new Shounentachi song, so of course it's written by Steven Lee. He writes everything I love!! cannot WAIT to see it on shokura. although I will never see Hokuto/Taiga's chained up version of Rockin Party (or yasui/nabesho duet) dammit, but I guess you can't have everything. One of the posters this month immortalized Taiga's pink hair, and it is already on the wall next to my bed where it pleases me every day.

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here comes a thought

school starts tomorrow so I'm an anxious mess, ugh. I swear it gets worse every year. I don't really understand why since I'm not changing jobs or classes and half my students are kids I already know and okay last year was intensely hard but now I get to reuse all that work I already did? So what is the problem????

Sanapig is still kicking, bless him. He's so skinny even though i've been giving him lots of treats. I gave up on both of the meds the vet gave me since they were 'just in case' things and didn't seem to make him either feel better or have any other effect. I just couldn't bear fighting with him about swallowing medicine twice a day in his last days, poor guy. Every morning I'm like "Hey buddy, are you still alive?" and then there's a tense couple seconds before he shuffles out and looks up at me suspiciously because he isn't sure whether it'll be a carrot or the antibiotic again. Sigh. His brother is still doing fine, by the way. Probably just waiting for the big cage to finally be his.

I updated the website the whole way up to 2016 before I stalled out this time. There's too many shiritoris! Some moron keeps writing them! But the website has over 1000 things on it now which seems crazy. Speaking of writing, I guess no JE FQF this year? That is a bummer, man. I always turn out good stuff for that. I guess I should just think about United, Halloween, and NaNo instead.

or pretty much anything besides school starting tomorrow nooooooooooooo.

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pearl it's over

I have to hold this all the way to the moon?!

Back from my last summer adventure~ Boooooooo. Actually i had a really nice time visiting [personal profile] beltenebra and it is totally not her fault that the only train from there to here leaves at 7:30am. I caught her up on Steven Universe and she made me watch some Shougeki no Soma which, after the peanut butter tentacles, was much more tolerable in the next couple episodes. Also I played a lot of the 2nd Phoenix Wright game on the train, which I love, but what is the point of having a health bar if four times a trial it's like "YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE."

Shinchilla was purportedly very well-behaved and even ran her wheel for everybody (chinchillas running chubbily on saucer wheels is so funny you have no idea). My mom was like "She would run it and then come over to get a cheerio from me!" and I was like no! don't teach her that's a treat trick! bad grandma!! The guinea pigs are always like 'oh you're back .___. " because my mom gives them a ton of attention while dad runs the chinchilla.

Steven Univeeeeeeeeeeeerse. For real, this show. I have all the feelings for it. I love the steady pace of revelations about other gems and homeworld and what happened during the Gem Wars. I love how it's sometimes weirdly dark, but so firmly in Steven's sweet POV that they get away with stuff on a "kid's" show that i'm like "DID THAT ACTUALLY JUST HAPPEN?!" The season 3 Nuke provided me with my now favorite song "It's Over Isn't It" which I have been singing constantly for weeks now, and it always amuses me that the original Rebecca Sugar ukelele demo of any song is always practically better than the finished version. I want an album of all of those. TAKE MY MONEY. Also a Lion plush. I want it.

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Also due to reasons I mainlined all 3 seasons of Bojack Horsemen in about four days and uh...don't do that. Or at least, don't do that until you won't end at the end of season 3 anymore. Idk if 4 will be less soul-destroying, but at the end of 3 I basically felt like I empathized way too deeply with this guy (horse) that nobody ever should even sympathize with and EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS OH GOD. Maybe starting with "Brap Brap Pew Pew" was also a bad idea. Or honestly, maybe it wasn't? like if you're trying to figure out if you can handle this thing, maybe you absolutely should start with that one (it's mid-season 3). I'm not even sure whether I'm recommending this show or not. I thought it would be bad, like I think Archer is bad, but I kind of think it's good, in a dark guilty way. It's definitely honest, in a way most TV isn't. It has clear narrative arc and characters that are sometimes bizarre but never in an uncharacteristic way. Why am I defending Bojack Horseman? I don't even know.

You know, BJ and SU are kind of like the polar opposites of the best things on TV right now, or at least their tones are opposite. SU's message is like growth and change are hard but positive and works best when you extend trust to others around you, BJ's message is more like past a certain point there's no way to change or escape the deep core part of yourself, even if you want/need to, even if that part happens to be destructive or self-destructive. So both of them are like "You have to be yourself" but SU is like "You have to be YOURSELF" and BJ is like "You HAVE TO be yourself."

I'm not even sure why I just sat here and thought about that for 20 minutes. OKAY.

So anyway school restarts soon and I'm already anxious ugh. I've been trying to update my website and I'm down to just shiritoris (plus I guess SASO) so if I could finish that by the end of summer I would feel good about that.

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